My A&P Champion

So I thought I’d take the time to look back at The Champ.


The Champ was my nickname for my Anatomy and Physiology professor last semester. He was one of the more amazing teachers I have ever had. Mostly because he would go off on tangents about random things and we would learn all about how something he did “Back in ‘Nam” relates perfectly with the numbering of the Cranial Nerves.


But at least it helped us remember to some degree.


So I had, throughout the semester, written down quotes from The Champ that were memorable in some way or another. The reasoning behind this, initially, was so that I could show them to one person or the other sometime later for a couple laughs.
But as I gathered quote after quote, I realized that I had a pretty good number of them, and that I could compile a list of them all.


So here is the finished product. The original quotes, and what they meant or referred to, so that you all can enjoy a little humor courtesy The Champ.


1. Bottom Line- Whenever The Champ asks you what this is, you must respond with “Money!”.


2. Criminently!- An expression of frustration used when The Champ finds yet another mistake in the textbook.


3. Hogwash- The word you hear when The Champ has just read something out of the book that is ridiculous to him. Ex: They’re not Electrical Impulses, they’re Action Potentials!


4. Malarkey- This word is used when there is some fantastic claim in the news or popular media that The Champ knows to be false, and wants us all to know it.


5. Folks- This is used when he addresses the class as a whole.


6. Kiddies- This is the word he uses to address that one group of kids in the back who are making noise when he is trying to start the class.


7. Ylo- Apparently, this is how The Champ spells yellow.


8. “I have no morals after final exams”- The Champ on how he doesn’t take any phone calls after the finals are done.


9. “Just like poker, ya plays yer money and ya takes yer chances”- Apparently, this is how The Champ explains the risks and benefits of being out in the sun.


10. “When I got to Vietnam, I was blowing up everything I could get my hands on”- The Champ on Explosives. This is story was somehow connected to the Organ of Corti.


11. “We all start out as little girls. Go home and tell that to Fang, it’ll get him right in the Macho!”- This is The Champ’s explanation of genetics and chromosomes.


12. “If you have motion sickness, even one fluid movin’ is enough to make you blow your tubes. Lookin’ for Ralph. Huey.” – The Champ’s vast vomiting vocabulary. This was in relation to the semicircular canals and how they affect your equilibrium.


13. “That’s real whiz-bang stuff right there” This is The Champ’s way of explaining that something is complicated.


14. “Don’t look at the clock now! I wanna spend another 10 minutes telling interesting Navy Stories!” – About everybody checking the time near the end of class.


15. “Who? Your feet don’t fit no limb”- Used when someone was stuttering in the process of asking about someone else.


16. Turnin’ and Burnin’- This is apparently what happens when a muscle is at peak levels of activity.


17. That's as cool as all get out- This was an exclaimation used to express The Champ’s feelings of amazement.


18. “If some guy in a pickup truck pulls out in front of you on the highway, what happens to your heart rate/blood pressure?”- A question that is frequently heard when talking about the cardiovascular system. The answers (for those with no common sense) are that your heart rate goes up and your blood pressure increases.


19. Packaging Peanuts- How The Champ describes loose areolar connective tissue.


20. “Why do we have butts? I’ll tell ya why. No, they’re not for sittin’, they’re for walkin’!”- During our lab discussion about the pelvic girdle.


21. Yer Sideburns- The masseter muscles.


22. Yer Smilers- The risorius muscles.


23. Yer Spitter- The buccinator muscles.


24. Yer Frowner- The depressor angulis oris.


25. Thingamabig- Word used to describe something large when The Champ can’t think of the word.


26. “When you’re out at night sneaking around at night being sneaky”- The Champ on when the rod-shaped photoreceptors in the eye come in handy.


27. “See?? It looks like a bird!!”- Apparently, this is how The Champ sees the saggital cross section of the Diencephalon. The hypothalamus is the beak, the intermediate mass is the eye, and the choroid plexus is the eyebrow.

This is also an attempt to get this pre-med blog back on it's pre-med topic. I've been slacking lately. So here's to The Champ. And to my pre-med Anatomy and Physiology class. It was a good one.

My very eventful day.

I had a very full day today. I slept in until about 10:45. Which was fun. I wish I could do it more often. Anyway, we went to pick up a friend who lived 15 minutes away because she had directions to the park and we didn't. She apparently made arrangements with someone else to pick them up as well, so we drove another 15 minutes to go meet up with him. It took us a half hour to get to the park, and we kept getting lost, but we made it.

But we got there, and there were four people there already. So we doubled the numbers just by arriving! And by the time we finished off our turkey burgers and cheesy chips, we had gone from eight to thirteen, and were ready for some games. So we walk over to the adjacent field, and get out some water balloons and towels for a round of "no one knows what this game is called". So we play that and then empty the rest of the balloons by having a water balloon fight, and then get together to decide what to do next.

We decided on Ultimate Frisbee, and my team totally won. We took break for awhile and sat around just hanging out talking. Once we were fully energized, we ran headfirst into a very active game of volleyball. My team lost, but not horribly. Just by a bit.

So after all that, we headed back home and dropped one guy off at his car, and then went to go pick ours up at our friend's apartment. But the battery was dead. There wasn't even any "chugga chugga" when we turned the key! How ridiculous was that? So we sit there and wait for our dad to come and give us a jump start.

On the way back home our dad, who was driving behind us, noticed that our break lights were on. We tried everything we could to turn them off, but there they were, sucking the life out of our battery, even when the car was off.

So I let my brother and dad deal with it while I went to a neighborhood get-together with my Mom. It was pretty fun, and there were lots of people there who were happy to see me, so that was nice. I played with some of the kiddies and pushed them on the swings, and I let my little brother's buddy chill with my zune for a while. Surprisingly, he seemed to enjoy the music!

So all in all, it was a very eventful day, and I had fun making new friends and joking around with some of the old ones. I really do wish the car would stop messing up, but I guess that's life.

They call it "Myrmecophobia".

And it was the reason I was sobbing in the middle of the movie theater this afternoon.

I went to go see the newest installment in the Indiana Jones series. It was going fine most of the movie. I was laughing and getting excited and very much enjoying the show. . .

Until about three quarters of the way in. Where there is a scene with millions of ants, all about the size of a Hot Wheels car.

I saw the first one and thought it was a scorpion. But upon closer inspection, and with a better camera view, it became clear that this was certainly a creature (at least in my mind) to be feared.

I thought to myself "Oh... my . . . goodness". As I realized where this was leading. So, I turned around and looked back at my family who were a row behind me because there were about five empty seats in front of them when I came back from the restroom, so I had taken one of those instead of scooting through the seats in front of people to reach the seat I had left.

So there I was, not looking at the screen, and doing fine- until the sound came. The sound of those giant ants swarming. The sound of the characters on the screen freaking out. The sound of someone crying.

Someone is crying? Where? I look at the faces behind me, scanning each one for tears, or a blotchy complexion.

I feel a tear fall on my hand, and I realize that the person crying is me.

I was actually crying. Me.

And right then, I realized how scared of them I actually was. Right there, with my face pressed into the back of my movie theater seat, sobbing and sniffing with my eyes screwed shut, a hand over one ear, and the other clutching onto my mother's hand for dear life, I realized that it wasn't just a matter of "I don't like ants because they're creepy".

I know it sounds weird that I didn't know. But I really didn't.

The scene went on for what seemed like hours, but I was later told that it was really only about eight minutes, until I was finally able to face the screen, and watch the rest of the movie.

This irrational fear and feeling of terror at that scene had forced me to wonder- Why am I so scared?

And after searching my memories for a second, I came upon one that I can point the blame at.

When I was young, probably around 5 or 6, I was playing at a park close to my house with my mother. I had found the neatest pile of sand ever right there among the woodchips. It was huge! I couldn't wait to sink my hands into it. And it was after doing just that when I realized that it wasn't a pile of sand after all, but an antpile. I was covered in ants in a matter of seconds, and I forget what happened after that, but mom says that we were able to hose me down and get all the ants off, but I was covered in antbites.

And that one time back in the early 90's. More than ten years ago, that moment in time was what lead to this fear.

And it was the reason I was sobbing in the middle of the movie theater this afternoon.

They call it "Myrmecophobia".

Counting to Infinity

I dare you to watch this. I double dare you. This is an hour long video of someone attempting to count to infinity. I'm watching it right now, and I'm determined to watch the whole thing. Oh my gosh, he just skipped from 1,278 to 1,269! He lost track and went backwards! Awww, poor guy. But he's doing it! It's way hard to count along, because he keeps messing up and so do I. Holy cow he almost did it again. We'll get to a number like 1,359 and forget what's next for a minute, and then have to think about it until we come up with 1,360. It happens alot at the "9"s. We're at 1,380, and he's starting to say three thousand instead of one thousand. Poor guy getting messed up. This is intense.

I don't know if I can sit through this whole thing. Bahaha, he just said 1,430 really funny. Thir-deee.

He said that the thousand four hundreds weren't that bad, but they were kind of difficult.

He stopped and told me to comment with a certain phrase if I was watching at that moment. What a smart idea! Good way to weed out the weaklings. . . or those with something to do on a Friday night.



Holy cow, I did it. I made it though the whole video. 61:46. An hour, one minute, adn 46 seconds, and we made it to 1,999, infinity. I feel . . . acomplished. Somehow, and like I just wasted an hour of my life counting to 2,000 with some guy.

I Love Me

WARNING: This post is going to contain my unbridled ego. There might not be enough room for it and you. You are about to find out exactly how vain I am. Carly Simon wasn't exaggerating in that song that she wrote about me.

I just wanted you all to know that I am very awesome. I really am. I'm sure those of you who know me in real life can't help but notice, that I'm constantly plagued by awesome. I really am. And sometimes, I just can't help being the bee's knees, it just happens!

Who else can sing along to songs ranging from Backyardigans to Billy Idol and everything in between? No one I know.

Who else can still fit into the t-shirts they got from Elementary School at age 20? Besides anorexics and people who were chunky as a kid but lost an extraordinary amount of weight as they grew up. They don't count.

Who but Mary can make you laugh during even the saddest of events? Who but Mary can make you smile when you're feeling down using lame puns alone? I can cheer up even the saddest emo kid. No doubt about it.

If you ask the kids at church who is the best at every video game ever made, who's name do they give you?? That's right, mine.

I volunteer constantly. I do. I amaze myself even when I list out the things that I do. I volunteer my time each sunday to teach 4-5 year olds in Sunday School. I volunteer my time as an Assistant CubMaster for the kids at my church.

I have volunteered two years in a row to go to Girl's Camp and spend a week teaching the girls and councilling them. They, of course, love having me there because I am the only leader who used to actually go to camp with them, and who they can trust to be their advocate with the other leaders. I was their comedy releif last year, when I slipped and fell butt first into a gigantic mud puddle. I was supposed to show up at an important dinner meeting later that night in those same clothes, but I laughed and made jokes because anything that would keep their minds off of the rainy day was welcome in my book.

Don't worry, that bandaged arm is just to cover a really bad insect sting/bite that had occurred the night before. If you look at the bottom, you can see the skid marks where I slipped.

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Anyway, back to how awesome I am. I am the best "gift giver" ever. I know people's quirky sides, and I know how to amuse that. If there's a girl who's turning sweet 16, and everyone else is giving her girly stuff, I know that the one present that will stand out is an etch-a-sketch, or a paddle ball. Because I know she still wants to be reminded that there's a kid in everyone, no matter how grown up we get. Also, when no one knows what to give someone, they come to me. Because I seem to know best I guess.

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I think I might just be the best reader around. I do think I am. I went to a private school in first grade that taught me how to read, and I've been addicted ever since.

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I can cook, I can clean, I can play soccer, I can play hackeysac, I can do laundry, I can help people with computer problems. I can make a mix tape of songs to play in a car that has no cd player. I can rip, mix and burn cds like nobody's business. I can beat any Splinter Cell game in a matter of hours.

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As a result of all my hackysac playing, I have fabulous legs. I really do. Smooth and shiney and with just enough muscle definition. I have the cutest feet you've ever seen as well. Super cute. They're adorable, really. Perfect in every way. My skin tone is amazing, and I have never had to go through a horrible teenager acne stage. My complexion is wonderful. And my hair is terrific. I can do all sorts of things with my hair, even with it being thick and wavy and frizzy, I can manage it, and it looks gooood.

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I love eating healthy food. I'm not obsessed with having a healthy diet, but I can make healthy meals for myself when I feel like it. I can also have a good ol' ham and cheese sandwich if I want it. Or a bowl of Froot Loops, which I absolutely love.

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I am good with kids. I really am. Any age. They just seem to love me. Maybe because I watch the same shows and can relate to the things they talk about. I know who Hannah Montana is, and I know who Dora the Explorer is.

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I am a very good organizer, and a very fast typer I can type, in a chat room situation, about 65 words a minute.

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I know who Fred Astair, Gene Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Rex Harrison, and Ginger Rogers are. I can watch shows and get almost every obscure reference that they throw out. I can watch a british comedy show and name most of the main characters, and what other shows they were in and how you might know them through other movies. I can connect Billy Dee Williams to Hugh Laurie using shows and co-stars.

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I can make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I can play Heart and Soul on the piano, Ring of Fire on the harmonica, and Ode to Joy on the trumpet. I can skip rope, and hoola hoop. I can blow a huge bubble the size of my own head from only two pieces of bazooka joe bubble gum.

I can point out Estonia on a map.

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I can rhyme all the time and I'm fine with lemon lime. I drink water all the time, seriously. I can't get enough. I know obscure actors that no one else may notice. I can hold my own in all different types of conversations with all different types of people.

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I rock.

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*this post was brought to you courtesy a self esteem boost from learning how to put my twitter updates in that neat little box over there. I got twitter because even though I had thought about it, I wasn't entirely convinced until talking to Dr. A last night after he wrapped up the podcast

I should've listened.

Momma always said to never eat too much candy. I bought a whole lot last night, and the Reese's Pieces were the first target. I'm halfway through the bag as I speak, and I can't stop. I have had them for breakfast, and after lunch and been snacking on them all day. They make me not want to eat normal food. I honesly need to stop eating them like, right now.

I went to a last minute banquet thing at my old high school. It was exciting at first because all of these different people were so excited about seeing me, but I wasn't really excited about any of it. I guess I have moved on. High school nostalgia isn't a problem for me. Which is a good thing. I can't wait to transfer though. I need to hurry the paperwork so that I can send it in and see if I'll be able to get out there by January. I'm hoping to get into a college in Idaho. The opposite corner of the country. But at least I know some people in Washington State, so I won't be to far from a "vacation family" where I can hang out when on break. If mom's fine with it of course.

Another blogtalk radio show tonight with Dr. A and everybody. Let's hope I can have my audio cooperate this time. But if not, I'm sure I'll have a blast in the chatroom anyway like last time. Gosh, everybody in there is just so down to earth! It was amazing! I can't wait for tonight.

Sunburn and the Beach

So I went to the beach on saturday. It was amazing. I guess I haven't been to the beach that often because I didn't know anything!

I was surprised when the water tasted salty. It was the ocean, so why shouldn't it be? But I was surprised anyway. Also, I kept getting knocked over by the waves. It was pretty funny to be standing there and all of the sudden, be sideswiped by a huge wave of water. I wasn't expecting them to be so big!

It took four hours to get there, and we were there from 11:30am-10:00pm and it took five hours to drive back because we decided to take the tricky way. (Which took us into North Carolina).

Anyway, I have sunburn pretty bad, but it's worth it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. My brain has been fried lately though. Maybe too much sun? But it was alot of fun.