Friday, February 20, 2009


I have no fans.

And before you start thinking I'm emo or something, let me explain.

What I mean by fans is hard to explain. Part of it comes from the site "friend or follow". I've been checking it for awhile. And I kind of hate seeing people who I'm following but aren't following me back.

I mean, in some cases, it's fine. I'm following around 4 romanian twitterers, because I am in the process of learning the language. Eu stiu putini, dar nu vorbesc foarte bine. I'm working on it. Anyway, as a step in learning it, I follow these 4 romanian twitterers to measure how much I know, and compare it to how they type. It's helped alot so far with understanding spelling and, since alot of their tweets are in the first person, helped with understanding the grammar a little as well. I don't care if they're following me back. I really don't. I'd feel guilty if they followed me just because I followed them.

And I also hate seeing the number of people who are following me but I'm not following them back. Because I don't know how many people are empty followers, or how many are spam, or how many are just trying to get followers of their own. I don't count these people as fans because I have no interaction with them. I never hear from them, I never communicate with them, and I am pretty sure alot of them don't care. But I can't speak for every single one.

Now, I found friend or follow through a friend, and since it's one of those sites where you can pretty much put in any username and review their stats, I checked out a few other twits' fans friends and following lists.

See- some people I don't mind if they follow me or not. I really don't. But when I consider someone a friend and follow them on twitter, and they don't feel the same way and don't follow me on twitter, I feel bad. Especially if it's someone with, say, 420 followers (don't bother checking, it's no one who actually reads this blog, I'm sure) who only follow 58 people, and one of those people isn't me. Sure, the person responds to my "@replies", but since they don't follow me, they respond through direct messages. And even then, only if I'm "lucky" enough for them to even notice I've repied to a tweet in the first place.

This sort of thing is something I've come to sort of despise. It feels like hero-worship. As if I am just a lowly fan, and they don't realize that respect is a two-way street. I respect people, I really do. I respect alot of people, but when it gets to the point where I'm the only one showing any respect in a "friendship", I kind of lose the respect I feel for the person.

Now, I hope hope hope that I have no one like that. No one that I've snubbed because of a "I'm better than you" complex that shouldn't exist. If you feel I'm ignoring you unjustly, let me know! I know how it feels. I definetly hope I have no "fans" and hope to death that I only ever have friends.

(I have since stopped following the person on twitter, because I felt like a number, not a friend. Though I still read their blog, I don't know how to handle the situation. One of the last times I've commented, I was made fun of by a fellow commenter and the blogger's indifference has discouraged my willingness to keep up with them at all, but I'm hanging in there to see what happens. I always thought I was more than "just a fan" and more like friend to this person, but we'll see. I'm beginning to lose interest.)


Liz said...

I agree that friendship (or, fanship?) should be a two-way street. I really does stink when you're the only person who ever comments, calls, writes, whatever, and there's little or no reciprocation. Just remember....I'm your #1 FAN!!

Dreaming again said...

I completely get it. I stopped following a few people that didn't reciprocate after a while.

Please know ...I'm one of your fans!!!

(I read your blog primarily on my feed reader, so if you look for me in your stats, you won't find me unless I'm commenting! But I read EVERY post!!!!)

Anonymous said...

Reasons why I never friended anyone on Facebook or Myspace unless I really knew them. No sense in keeping in touch with the snobby people who didn't even talk to me in the first place. Where's the fun in that. I completely understand what you mean by numbers. It happens on DeviantArt a lot too. I almost feel obligated to watch other people who watch me. If not I feel so.....stuck up...which I honestly really try not to be... really....

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Rebecca said...

I'm a fan! I don't do the twitter thing, mainly because I don't know how to, but I am your fan on blogger. Does that count? :)