Friday, March 13, 2009


I have a skill. It's a super-secret skill. And I would like to discuss the unique aspects of my "talent".

I'd probably better start by telling you what it is.

I can sleep anywhere, anytime and on virtually anything.

Let me just say here, that no, I'm not narcoleptic. I am just skilled at sleeping. I think it comes from my high school years. But I think my mom would say it comes from years of practicing and staying up late.

But high school is boring. The classes weren't too terribly hard, the work load was light, and there wasn't alot going on. The teachers weren't engaging or interesting, and some classes, even the people around me were boring.

So, like most young high school students, I developed the ability to sleep in one of those desks that has the chair and desk attatched by a metal bar.

Sometimes, when the class was emptier and the day was slower and the teacher was lazy and didn't want to teach, we would have a lazy mess around day. On one of these occassions, I slept in three desks at a time. You just have to arrange them the right way!

So while I was remembering this, and recalling all of the things I've slept on, I came up with a pretty big and quite impressive list!

I've slept :

  • On School Desks
  • In a movie theater stretched across several seats
  • Sitting back to back with a friend one morning in high school
  • In a tent with a sleeping bag out camping (several times)
  • On a rock. It was a big rock.
  • In a tree. Just find a couple of branches close together or one big branch and drape yourself across them! Many an afternoon were napped away in the branches of the big tree in the backyard in Atlanta.
  • On a picnic table in an adarondac.
  • On a hammock (not that hard)
  • In a bed (easiest place for falling asleep)
  • On neumerous floors. Carpeted, hardwood, you name it.
  • On the ground. Concrete ground, outside of school.
  • On the grass, outside
  • On the dirt, with lots of rocks and pebbles around.
  • Backstage on misc. props whilst waiting for curtain call.
  • On a ladder. It's quite easy if it's a stepladder.
  • Chairs. Wooden chairs, plastic chairs, even metal folding chairs.
  • Stairs. Actually quite relaxing.
  • In the pool. This requires a floatation device.
  • On a boat.
  • On a plane.
  • On a countertop.
  • On our back porch.
  • In a car. (Backseat, front seat, truck bed, even the trunk! Cars are one of the easiest places to fall asleep)
  • Couches (any couch can be easily converted into a bed by laying lengthwise on the couch.)
  • In a closet
  • In a bathroom (oh like you haven't! And it was whilst taking a bath, weirdos)
  • On bleachers. While they are, at first, kind of cold, it's do-able.
  • On top of cardboard boxes. They're warm and soft and comfy.
  • On a car. I already said in, but I've fallen asleep on top of a car before.
  • On a beach, lying on a towel. Again, not difficult to do.
  • Leaning against a wall.
  • Sitting in an empty kitchen cupboard. There are pictures.
  • And last but not least- in the middle of a road. On the warm asphault. Soaking wet.

That's all I can think of at the moment. The list includes dangerous places where I don't suggest you attempt sleeping in. And some were for as little a time as 1 minute and as few times as one. But sleep is sleep.

I must say that there are some instances mentioned that happened when I was little, and haven't been tried since I was 12.

So there you have it! Proof, no doubt of my amazing sleep-tastic talent! No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I can best the beast of tiredness using sheer willpower and thinking happy thoughts.

If you have any questions, comments or concerns, just leave a comment! I'll be glad to give you the story behind any of these. I'll respond in the comment section as soon as I can, so go ahead and ask about any you feel weren't accurate or weren't safe or just sound like they have an interesting back-story!


Liz said...

WAKE UP!!!!!

Crystal said...

This was hilarious! I surely do not have this talent. Is the ability to stay awake on very little sleep a talent? lol

Anonymous said...

Words can't begin to describe how jealous I am of that skill.

Cierra Rafajko said...

LOL! That is so funny! Mary that really is quite a talent. I can't imagine being able to fall asleep in all of those places. Thats awesome!