Almost a year.

I'm up way too late, but I don't care. I'm 22 years old and I can do what I want. That's what I like to tell myself, at least.

A week and a half from now, it will have been a year since my mom died. September 29th is the anniversary of her passing away.

A lot has happened since then; some good, some not so good. In March, our family found out that my dad has a Melanoma. Those of you who follow me on twitter might remember the exact day, because I freaked out just hearing the 'C' word.

Dad had a few surgeries. One to remove the melanoma in early April, another to remove certain inguinal lymph nodes on April 29th. In case you don't know why I would remember the specific date, April 29th happens to be my birthday. My first birthday without my mom and I spent it in a hospital room looking after my dad.

Luckily, I had a friend who was kind enough to bring a wonderful goody bag full of party supplies and treats and presents to me the day before, so when I got to the hospital, I could have my own little party while dad was drugged up and knocked out.

Also, luckily, I had a friend, who had spent a lot of time in that same hospital as a child, come visit me while dad was in surgery, so I didn't have to wait alone. He showed me where the little room was to get dad water or juice or something, and he showed me where the extra linens were. He even kept dad company with me while he was there (and while dad was awake). The guy spent at least 8 hours at the hospital with me, playing bored games with me, chatting it up with dad, and just being there.

In the summer, Dad started an ongoing treatment. He's doing some 'immuno-therapy' stuff, called 'interferon' (sp?). Basically, it's a month (five days a week for four weeks) of high dose meds that make him feel like he's got the flu, and 48 weeks of low dose, less frequent (three times a week) shots that he's been giving himself.

He got an infection a couple weeks ago and none of the antibiotics they tried slowed it down, so they had to go in surgically and remove everything, so that stunk. He spent a week in the hospital, and I spent three days there until he made me go home to take care of the house.

Things have been calmer since then, and I'm glad. I have time to reflect upon the things that have happened this year, and I have time to remember when everything was easy.

I'm still grateful to have a wonderful family, and I'm thankful to still have one parent. I'm thankful for everything my mother was while she was here, and to the wonderful example she set. I'm grateful for the support of our friends here, who, the day they heard dad was in the hospital, sent flowers, visited us, and had us over for dessert and movies and games.

It's just Dad, myself, and my two little brothers at home now, so when dad's not around, it feels like we're a broken family or something. Thankfully, we have a wonderful bunch of friends who are there for us, and we can rely on them for anything, even if it's just a night of company and fellowship to keep our minds off of things.

Yeah, life could stand to be a little easier, but I'm grateful that it's not worse, and that we're going through everything as a family. We still laugh and play and talk and watch movies together, and we say "I love you" to each other more often, and I'm thankful for the trials we've been handed, because they've helped us grow stronger and closer.

I miss you, mom, and I wish you were here, and even though I know you aren't coming back, I hope, at least, you're watching us, and that you're proud of how we've managed so far without you. I know I'll see you again, but until then, my memories of your life and your love will have to do to keep me company when I think I can't handle things.

"And when one of us is gone
and one of us is left to carry on
then remembering will have to do.
Our memories alone will get us through.
Think about the days of me and you.
You and me against the world."

--Helen Reddy

Weekend of Craziness!

So I've been working at this preschool for the past month and I finally went to pick up my paycheck yesterday and I was relieved that it was enough for me to put most of it in the bank! I told the bank ladies that I'd be back soon with more money because this weekend was going to be very busy! I'm babysitting, catering a wedding open house, and babysitting some more! I can't wait for Monday morning when I can go to the bank and deposit more money into my very small bank account.

I've been saving up trying to pay for school myself this next semester. I found a number of a woman that might need a summertime nanny, and I think I'd be perfect for the job! I have a car, an imagination and tons of experience! I just need to figure out if I want to take classes during the summer or not. I don't know.

Learning is fun!

Even though I am taking this spring semester off to work and just live, I still like to learn new things. I stopped by the library today and picked up a couple of books on Sign Language! I have always wanted to learn it, but have never really felt that I had time to spare! But now, I think I'm ready to try it out! So I'll immerse myself in non-verbal communication for the next few days and see how it works out!

I wish I had a friend close by who could help me learn, because it's always more fun to learn something new if you have a friend backing you up. But I think I'll have fun anyway. I've learnt songs and the alphabet before in sign language, so I hope it'll be easier than not.

Anyway, wish me luck in my new endeavor! Hopefully, I'll expand my horizons and gain new confidence in my learning abilities! Yay!

Busy busy busy!

So I'm taking the semester off because I'm just tired of school.

I've decided to just work until the next (summer) semester comes along. So far, I have a few things lined up. They're not exactly 9-5, but they're good. I'll be house sitting and dog sitting for a friend, catering a certain event, cleaning a house, and babysitting! What can I say? I'm a woman of many talents!

Also- Basketball season has started! Well, Church Ball has started. I've been practicing with my girls since November and on the 9th of January, all our hard work totally paid off! We won a game against another ward by 40 points! Congrats, girls! I'm so super proud of all of you!

Now I just hope that Saturday's game goes just as well. It's against a group who has a track record of being good at basketball. I told the girls before the first game that I didn't care if they won or not, as long as they had fun. The same thing stands here. I just want everyone to have a nice, clean game and have fun playing!

I've heard there's a group that has been playing a little rough, and I don't want my girls playing against that, but I guess we'll just stay positive and hope to have more of the older girls there just in case. Not that the younger girls on my team can't hold their own, they're just smaller and easier to knock over. Hehe. But they're adorable.

Anyway, I digress.

Wish me and my team of church basketballers luck! I'll come back later and blog something cool.

Also- GO! DO! HELP! It's so easy to help, it really really is. And Haiti really needs it right now.

http://airwalk.com/doingyourpart/

http://www.musicforrelief.org/

100 things?

What 100 things do you want to do with the life you have to live?

I've made a list of 50 so far.

I've been thinking more about doing things lately.

Maybe it has to do with this being a brand new decade, full of possibilities and opportunities.

There is a new show coming to MTV* called The Buried Life. You might've seen the commercials for it. It follows 4 guys with a list of 100 things to do. They want to prove that anything is possible if you go after it.

I also had a lesson recently in Sunday School about doing things. I was handed a list that counted to 100 and asked to fill in at least the first five things. That was hard. But the other night, things just started coming to me.

Looking at the list on theburiedlife.com now, I can see that, surprisingly, a lot of the same things are on both my half-list and their whole one. Trust me when I say I never intended for that to happen. I swear I'm not copying. But I see a good 25 or so that I had on my list that they've written on theirs. I also see a few that I'll be adding when I finish up the second half of my list. I've always wanted to take a kid on a shopping spree for toys, but I've never put it in words.

A good number of the things on my list have to do with learning. I want to learn an instrument, I want to learn different languages, and I would love to learn the names of ALL of my cousins. Another majority of things have to do with doing physical things. I want to learn how to surf. Which, weirdly enough, is the exact thing (Out of all the extreme sports, what a coincidence!) on their list. I also want to climb a mountian. I'm not surprised at all that it's on their list as well. I think some of these things are ones that a lot of people would put on their list.

I find it interesting that certain things are different goals, but accomplished through the same means. For example, on their list, they have put "ride a rollar coaster". On my list, I have "conquer my fear of rollar coasters". Different goals, but they will both be checked off through riding rollar coasters.

I like how different people care about accomplishing different goals. For instance, I don't suppose the guys on The Buried Life would care to hug a penguin (#42, I think, on my list), but would love to get into the Guiness Book of World Records; something that I really don't care about doing.

So what crazy, random, or completely normal things are on your list?


*side note on MTV- Why don't they show Music Videos anymore? Why has the Music TeleVision channel turned into reality tv central? I wish they would to back to how they were back in the day. I still remember my first MTV video. Do you remember yours? I hate what MTV has allowed itself to become. It tries making new channels devoted to music, but ends up turning them into the same ridiculous circus act that the other channels have become. PLAY MORE MUSIC VIDEOS!! I think the last time I saw a music video on MTV was like, three years ago? Geez. Do yourself a favor, MTV, and get back to the basics!