Children Never Grow up

Whilst forcing my young nephew to sit at the table and finish his breakfast, I have made a discovery. It's a small one. I might just be about the last person on the earth to realize this, but I am happy with myself for it.

For breakfast this morning, My Young Nephew wanted something he hadn't tried before. I insisted that it wasn't very tasty, and that he might want to have something else. He screamed and cried and jumped up and down until I, frustrated with him, gave it to him with the warning that he must finish the whole thing or he will not be having lunch. That will be his breakfast, lunch and dinner until he finishes it. He agrees airily as he opens it up and starts munching. He gets about halfway done before he decides that he is bored with it, and starts to throw it away to avoid having to eat the rest.

About midway through this battle of wills, I realized that alot of the times, grown ups are like that too. We adults are so adament about starting something new, like a relationship, or a job, or some other sort of thing that takes commitment, and we just dive straight in. We don't think about the possibility that we might get tired of it halfway through. We commit to something without really knowing what that commitment means. Alot of the times, we find that it wasn't what we wanted at all, and we try to just throw it away to avoid finishing what we started.

I am thinking about relationships. Both of my sisters have gone through seperations. Both of them are because people are unwilling to fully commit to things. The Older sister got married and it was a fairy tale come true for her. She had a nice guy whom she loved and got along well with. He had a job and a car and of course, flaws. At first, the flaws were things she found adorable. She loved the way he would go out with the guys all night. She loved how rebellious he was. She loved the way he seemed to just not care about being responsible. Maybe it was because she wanted a challenge. Maybe it was because it gave her the opportunity to be the "adult half" in a relationship. Be responsible for things that she hadn't had the opportunity to be in charge of before. I don't know. When they had kids, the endearing ideals, the travelling from apartment to apartment, living from paycheck to paycheck life was not enough for her. She had babies to take care of. She had children that she needed to feed, bathe, shelter, and clothe. He had addictions that he needed to satisfy. What was once an endearing tendancy of his to quit an unfair or boring job to paint or "be an artist" while he finds another one, became a cause for concern. Surely, two adults could live like that, but not a family. A wife and child could not be supported by "fix-it" jobs. Oh the talent he had. If only he had been committed, the relationship and the family might've stood a chance. But he hadn't grown up yet. And taking care of a family while taking care of his addictions and whims proved too much for one weak-willed man to handle. Eventually, My sister got tired of his promises and his addictions, and his friends. She left him for the good of the family.

If only people would realize that things like that take committment and hard work.

My other sister. She had a boyfriend that loved her and cared for her. He had made mistakes in the past, they both had, and it had been a rocky relationship. They were on again, and off again for years. When he proposed, it was just after a rocky and complicated off again. It seemed that he would shape up. He was, after all, in the military now. He had gone through training and was turning out to be a responsible young man. Marriage seemed like the right thing at the time. He was growing up, and was looking to settle down for awhile. But again, lack of committment and foresight brought chaos. One day, Mr. Army boy comes home from work and tells my sister that he is too young to be married. None of his buddies are married. They all are free to do as they chose. None of them need to check in with the wife for permission to go out. It's as if he has another mother telling him what to do. She is surprised, and cannot grasp what he is saying. They talk about it. She thinks that it must be because he has cheated in some way. He denies any such act of dishonesty. She insists that it was okay, and that he could tell her. She wouldn't be mad if there was more reason behind this than just "I'm too young to be married". He denies it. He would never do anything like that. She finally sees the base chaplin. Just to see what he says about it. The chaplin gives her this analogy:

Your husband is on a bridge with a rope. He has one end in his hand. He throws you the other end. He jumps off of the bridge. How long are you going to hold on?

It made her realize that if she wanted to move forward in life, she needed to drop the things that are holding her back. She finally decides that the relationship she has with her husband is dragging her down and holding her back. As long as he refuses to grow up and be a responsible husband, she cannot be with him. They divorce, and she moves to Atlanta with our cousin.

It seems to me that many many people only want the good times. They want the frosting on the cupcake, and will not eat the cake part when they come to it. They want a relationship, but refuse to grow mentally or spiritually to maintain it. A relationship is a living thing. It changes and grows and can be wonderful if those involved change and grow with it. But when they don't, or can't or won't. That's when things like this happen.

That's my little bit of wisdom for today. Eat the pizza and the crust. If you try something new with a commitment to finish it all, don't smash it on the floor when your aunt isn't looking and then refuse to clean it up once she turns around and finds the mess. Geez, little kids, huh? Whattya do with em?

Poppins anyone?

I love the movie Mary Poppins. It's terrific fun! I watched my favorite song from that movie today. I know why it's my favorite one. Do you know why?





I like it because I love hearing people singing about me. That's why. My mom sings this sometimes and I love it! Also, Dick Van Dyke is awefully goofy in this movie. Always good for a laugh.

On a different note:

Yesterday after Math class, a friend invited me (more like told me I was going to go) to a "dance party" downtown. Apparently, there are parties on saturday nights. I had no idea. I don't know if I want to go. It's not really my scene. If you know what I mean. (rhyming mostly un-intentional).

I mean, a party? Downtown? Where there could be things that I don't want to see/hear/ingest? Where it goes from 7:00 to who knows when? I don't think so. I'll have to ask about it. It'd be nice to go out and do something for once, but not at the expense of my integrity and values. I might just invite him to the church dance that is the friday before and ask him to compare.

Also, someone made the comment that it sounded an aweful lot like it was a date. It's not. It doesn't matter if I go or not, it's not a date. He invited me and our other friend in math class to go. So I don't think it's like that. Although he did get my number. But only so he could call me and give me the details about the party.

But he is cute.

But I don't date non members.

But I don't date.

But I shouldn't care.

I guess I'm just going to have to talk it over with my mom. She always has good advice.

On yet another, more different note:

I was whistled at twice yesterday. Wolf whistle. Once it was a guy I had no idea who he was, and another time was a guy I did know who was just playing around (I hope). I ignored both of them. Hahaha.

I guess being attractive has it's disadvantages.

Med. Term. Geo- Partay!!!

Okay, so in Med. Term. Class, we play Jeopardy to review for the tests. I am not as awesome in this as I thought I would be. It's all diseases and symptoms, no anatomy!! How's a girl supposed to ace the class if the anatomy part is all. . . gone? I mean, I kill at anatomy. I do. I am the best at knowing what things are and where they are. But when it comes to diseases and things like that, I stink. It's a weakness.

Also, in Math, I got my second test back and I have to get 100 on all the rest of them to pull through the class with a 70. I need a tutor. Badly. Jenna, I hope you don't mind this selfish plea for help. But math class is killing me.

On a brighter note, I think that all this getting up early in the morning stuff is starting to wear off. I've been getting up at 6 for the past. . . 4 years? And I'm finally beginning to not be a grumpy crusty eyed zombie! Yay for me! I knew that I'd be able to beat it one of these days. I just hope that springing forward won't mess that up. I so like being a morning person.

Last night in A&P class, the teacher (best one ever, by the way) was passing out tests, and pronounced my name wrong. I corrected him, but then told him that it was okay to mispronounce my name because "I love this class". That is probably the thing he hears most from me. There is a certain door in our classroom that he sometimes uses and when he is leaving through that door to do anything (sush some kids in the hallway, grab some stuff from his office, etc) I call after him with "I love this class". There is an unspoken "by the way" tone to how I say it. He thinks it's hilarious. But I think he's hilarious. When he reads things from the textbook, and he doesn't like it, he calls it "Hogwash!". He is fun stuff. Really. I feel like he's the funny old grandpa I never had.

Well, I do have two grandpas, but they don't count. I don't see them as much. But of course, they do live in Utah and Minnesota. So there's an excuse.

Anyway, my foot is asleep. And I think I might want to be joining it soon. I do have time before my next class to get in a few hours.

The findings of a curious (and happy!) mind.

So. . .



I found out that I don't like driving my sister's car.



I found out that I wasn't as prepared for today's test as I had thought.



I found out how to delete comments from others on my posts. (so, Jenna, if you still want me to delete that one comment, you are in luck!)



I found out that I can be awefully grumpy in the morning.



I also found out that my sudden snappy grumpiness could show itself to anyone.



Which is very dangerous if Dad finds this out at the same time.



I found out on Saturday night that I was horrible at bowling.



Which lead to me finding out that I don't mind losing as long as everyone has fun.



I found out that I don't like mushrooms as much as I had thought.



I found out that buying seasons of my favorite shows at Best Buy is possible, but improbable according to the latest update from my wallet.



I found out today that I lost my wallet.



I found out last night that I am like Bicycle Playing cards better than other brands.

I also found out that I can get on the internet in math class. Go figure.

Nothing much

You wanna hear something funny? Not funny ha-ha, mind you, but funny weird.



For starters, a funny confession- Even whilst I was crashing the car, happy was there. I knew I'd get attention for it, and that made me happy.

Don't get me wrong, though. Terrified, and his good buddy anguish were there as well. Trying to drown out happy.

But unfortunately, I am cursed with a happy happy brain.

I'll prove it to you.



There, see? I scanned my brain, and apparently, I'm all happy all the time.

Tagged- Now? Really?

Well, after stopping by My Friend's Blog, I decided that I'd finally give in. I'll finally do what it told me to do. I've been looking at it and putting it off for ages, but I can't put it off any longer. It's too tempting.

What Am I Doing Right Now?

Well, for starters, I am blogging. I'm blogging whilst listening to my new favorite song by Akcent called Spune Mi. I have no clue what the words mean. All I know is that there are cute guys singing it, and it's catchy. I'm supposed to be watching kids, but I've sent them to their room to clean it, so that I can have a minute alone. My shoulder is still killing me (I say shoulder instead of back because I don't want to sound like an old person, but it's up near my left shoulder on my back) from the accident, and more recently, my neck has started to hurt. It's only a sharp pain when I lift my head the wrong way. I am hoping to ask the opinion of my Med. Term. teacher, seeing as she's a chiropractor. I hated trying to spell that, and I don't care if I got it wrong. I am wearing my favorite hat. It's pretty awesome. I got it for around $4.00 at Target, but it's way cool. I'm waiting for Mom to get back from taking the Little Brothers to the Dentist, so that she can take me to school. I hate not having a car. I've recently been watching Dr. Who, and I'm addicted. Its a horrible sci-fi soap opera, but I'm addicted. How sad is that?? Anyway, I'm also taking Tylenol right now. Regular Strength Tylenol is my best friend now. I've found that Ibuprofen doesn't really help as much as it does during certain other times of pain. But with Tylenol, if I can just take some, and wait for it to kick in (it takes about ten minutes) then I'll be fine. In the mean time, I'm hurting really bad. Gol Dernit, my back hurts so bad!! Geez! I went to the doctor and she said it'd be gone in a couple of days. So either she went to Med School at Liarsville, or she doesn't know what she is talking about. Maybe she meant a couple of weeks, I don't know. But I do know that it's almost been a week since the crash and my back is still killing me. Which, with my tendancy to relate words to songs, leads me to this. Thanks, Roberta, thanks. Glad you went and popped into my head at exactly the right moment, I really appreciate it, really. Just for that, here's my favorite version of this song. Yeah, it's not yours, it's by the Fugees. So there. Have fun with that.

Anyway, now that you've had a little taste (and I do mean little, there's tons more where that came from) of what goes on in my head, you know a little more about the jungle that is my brain.

Also, Im a horrible red wings fan because the last 6 games I haven't seen and the last 6 games, they've lost. 6 in a row. I feel responsible for some reason.

My lucky day and My G.A.

Okay, so you all know how I really don't like to give actual names on this site. I really don't. I think people's privacy is important, and I respect the fact that some people don't want their names to be plastered all over the internet.

But. . . I think I can make an exception. Besides, it's not like anyone I don't know reads this blog right now, so I think It'll be safe. It'll be awhile before I actually get this blog into the medical blogosphere, so for now, I'm going to just go for it.

Denise Newhouse is heaven sent. She really is. I've suspected as much for some time now, and last night, it was confirmed. She is My Guardian Angel.

Last night, whilst driving home from my evening scripture study class, I ran head first into the most gigantic pothole in South Carolina. Not kidding. I really truely do beleive that it's the biggest. Now, usually, I avoid said pothole. I do. I know where it is. But last night, I forgot it was there, and to even further my plight, it was filled with water. I might as well have crashed into the kiddie pool at the neighborhood pool. That's how big it was. Big enough that it took out the whole bottom front of my car, and bumped my wheels pretty bad, too.

I stopped immediatly. Luckily, I wasn't too far away from class, and I had been the first to leave. So surely, somebody would see me and come to my aide. I saw Navy Nurse's car. He passed right by. I saw Best Buddy's car. She passed right by. In my distress, I grabbed my phone. After a quick prayer for help, I called mom. She quickly transferred the conversation over to dad.

The bad thing about being me, is that all of the emotions I hold in during the week, come out when I start to cry. I'm fine when no one's around. It's easy to bottle things in when you're alone. But when there's someone who's willing to listen. Someone who cares about you and wants to know what's wrong, the tears pour down like rain. And honestly, I am sorry about the country music-like phrase, but really, I swear, it's the only crying simile that came to my head.

Anyway, I was in the middle (actually, I was more like three or four words into it) of explaining my plight to Mom, when all of the sudden, that hot feeling came to my face, and my windpipe constricted, and I stopped breathing. I hate crying when I'm trying to explain what's happening. I sound something like this: "sob sob gasp I wahhhhhh breath I quivering lip sharp intake of breath I was gasp sob breath in I's going home waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh gasp gasp and like whimper boooohooohooooo"

So as you can see, it's more confusing to understand me when I'm crying. Way more confusing. So after sobbing to mom for a while and then sobbing to dad, there is a knock on my window. Denise Newhouse. She saw me on her way and decided to turn around. Now, as bad as I am over the phone when crying, it's about 5x worse when there's an actual person there with two whole shoulders, and always wiling to let me cry on either one. I picked the left one. I told my Dad to hang on, and explained - fighting the tears the whole time (they won) - what had happened. I let her and dad listen to the rattling sound the car made when I turned it on. Dad decided that it was okay for me to try to drive the car home, so I told Denise what he decided. She decided to follow me home the whole way.

Weird stuff was happening on the way home. The car was making weird noises. I had trouble with turning the wheels. Later than that, when I would put my foot on the gas, the rpm would go up, but not the mph. I had been going slow before, but by the time I got to my neighborhood, I stopped on an uphill. The car couldn't make it no matter how I revved the engines. The battery light was on the whole time. I'm glad Denise followed me into the neighborhood, because she was able to give me a ride the rest of the way home. I thanked her for her help, and hugged her. Mom thanked her for looking after me, and she was on her way.

Denise Newhouse is my hero. I don't think she beleives me when I tell her, but she is. She's been here for me since I moved here. No matter what. I'm thankful for her friendship, and her compassion, and the guidance she has given me throughout the years. It's almost like having another mom, but part-time, and without the "momming" that you get with your full-time mom.

Anyway, once I was home, I was trying to get Dad to go look at the car. Mom told us to take Big Brother with. Apparently, he didn't know that anything had happened. So when I asked him to come with to get the car, he asked what had happened. I tried to explaining, but apparently, that feat is undoable unless I bawl my eyes out. I don't want to cry in front of Big Brother! I covered my face with my elbows (it makes sense when you know that my hands had been behind my head.) and start yet another battle with my tears.

Then, the most amazing thing happened. One of the rarest things in the world showed itself. I had thought it was extinct, but apparently, it only comes out when it needs to. What is this wild and untamed specimen?? What is this thing that only shows itself once a year, maybe even only once in a few years. A hug from Big Brother. A genuine hug. An actual show of compassion and love that doesn't manifest itself in the form of quality time and video games.

I think that really did kind of make up for the fact that I had just ruined the car. Well, to me at least. I don't think a hug from Big Brother would take away Dad's feeling about the whole thing.

I digress.

We went and looked at it, and Dad saw that the car was leaking transmission fluid. And, apparently, the pothole scraped off some kind of electrical soemthing also, so I'm pretty glad right now that I didn't blow up. That would've stunk big time.

I don't think I went away completely unharmed, though. I must've done something to hurt my back, because my back is killing me. Around my left shoulder. It starts under my scapula and goes from about T-2 through T-8. It's killing me. I still have to go to school, unfortunately. But at least it's a holiday where cute boys give me things.

I will be soooo angry if I go to school and don't get anything good. That'll be a waste. I would've stayed home today except for that.

I should probably see a doctor about my back, but I never get to go to the doctor. Sam's been about twice so far this year. I haven't been since back around fall of 2006.

Oh well, I guess things will work out.