Monday, February 4, 2008


I hate my Med Term. Class. I do. There are so many abbreviations and terms and things that I totally could've waited until med school to learn. I really don't like having to learn that OA can stand for either Osteoarthritis or Overeaters Anonymous.

Mom wants me to go to Ricks. For those among us who were around when it was called that, you'll know where I mean. I for one, have heard too many stories of "oh, we met at Ricks, and we just knew we were right for each other!" I'd have to use both hands and probably one foot to add up how many couples I've known that met there. I really don't want that to happen for me.

I mean, yeah, marriage is important. I'll get married someday, but right when I'm trying to get into med school? I dunno. It seems that getting married would just mess up my plans. I'd have to rethink my priorities and be responsible. You know. Grown up stuff like that. I mean, it's not like I want to totally put off getting married until I graduate from med school, but at least hold off until I'm in the middle or something. That way, the commitment is there, and I can finish getting my medical lisence and probably do a couple years in a diagnostic fellowship before I have kids. I mean, it would be nice to make it all the way. And by all the way, I mean be head of the diagnostic department in a hospital. An attending. Someone who everyone asks for help when they don't know what to do with their patients. Maybe I could even make it to chief of medicine, but I wouldn't want to put off a family for too long.

And then what about debt? I mean, eventually, Mom and Dad won't be able to afford the school I go to. I'll have to get a student loan to pay for Med. School. Then I'll be in debt hundreds of thousands of dollars. If I get married after that, the debt will affect both of us. Especially if he has just as much (if he went to med school too) How unfair would it be for me to accumulate so much debt and then be a stay at home mom? How unfair to me would it be if I went through years of medical training and then just gave it all up to be a stay at home mom? I want to go to medical school because I want to be a doctor! I don't want to have to give up a career so soon. I would love at least to work as a doctor in a big hospital for awhile. I'm afraid of ending up in Pediatrics or Family Medicine. Those are what most women go into. Those and Ob-Gyn. I really really ree-hee-heeeallly don't want to go into Ob-Gyn.

Anyway, those are my fears. I won't even go into how much I'm afraid to commit to med school just to realize I want something else out of life. That'd kill me. It really would. Being a 3M and all of the sudden "Oh, I really want to be a teacher! That's what I really wanted all along!" That would seriously murdalize me. But I digress. ( I do love doing that)

I guess, as an old friend used to say "everything will work out".

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