Alright, so whilst veggin on the couch, channel surfing the other day, I came across an advertisement for a slightly disturbing toy.
At first glance, you see this young boy playing with his dinosaur toys and having fun, and then one starts squirting water out of it's mouth. Oh how fun! A dinosaur/squirt gun! "Yipee!" the kids shout. "I love my spitting dinosaur!".
But I know the only reason that child is not screaming his lungs out and fleeing for dear life is that he is too young to have seen Jurassic Park.
The only reason the kid in the commercial is not rolled up in the fetal position on the floor covering his face with both hands is that he is too young to have been witness to the terror that can be found in Steven Speilberg's 1993 dino movie Jurassic Park.
And if you are not at least squirming uncomfortably in your seats as I describe this terrifying toy, I feel I need to remind you of a little something.
(click only if you have a spare pair of tidy whities handy, cuz your gonna need 'em!)
Alas, if only Dennis the Jurassic Park Menace had thought before heading to the Docks in that horrible weather. I don't care if he couldn't have gotten another boat for awhile, he should've planned his law breaking ahead of time and left earlier! This last minute slip up of Newman's caused him his job, his integrity, his life, and his dignity. He got taken down by what size dinosaur? Really?
I saw this movie at age 5. That part still scares the heck out of me! You all are lucky I was even able to find that clip for you! I still haven't watched the whole thing to see if it's ligit! I've watched, maybe, five seconds at each end.
Frickin' toy. That poor, ignorant child playing with it! If only he knew. . . if only he knew. . .