My Last Day

My last day with my mother was yesterday.

She wanted me to take my brothers to seminary and school because her head hurt.

I did.

She wanted me to take her to the store because she wanted to buy presents for my little brother's birthday.

I did. And we waited a half hour outside a store that opened later than we thought it did.

She wanted me to take her to Publix, so she could buy milk for later.

I did.

She wanted me to drop the kid off at pre-school so that she wouldn't have to drive. And then get to class immediately afterward.

I did.

She texted me in the middle of Math class. It said "Call Me".

I walked out of the class right then and did.

She said that she called the nurse at her doctor's office and that the nurse told her to go to the emergency room.

I immediately told her I'd be right there, hung up, and ran to get my stuff and get to the car and sped home. I think I made record time.

She wanted me to drop her off at the emergency room, so that I would be able to continue with the things she wouldn't do, like picking up my little brother from school.

I walked her in and said that I loved her and goodbye.

She called from the hospital later telling me that they said everything was alright.

And then they called later than that. And I went down there.

And everything is not alright.

she's gone

Checkup from the Neck-up.

That was a line from Fern Gully. Such a good movie.

Anyway, so I've been collecting quotes from my American Government teacher for quite some time now (as I did with my Anatomy and Physiology teacher) and I don't care if this means I have one less quote to include in a future blog for fear of being too repetitious. It went a little something like this. . .

"When a government fails, who's fault is it? It's your fault. It's your neighbor's fault. It's your mother's fault. It's always been your mother's fault. Always."

. . . My first thought? Don't you be talkin' bout my momma like that.

My second thought? He is out of his mind.

Is the government my 5th grade math teacher?

They can get anyone to apologize for anything.

Ex:

• Back when a certain vice president shot a certain friend of his in the face, who apologized? The friend. "Sorry you shot me in the face and had to deal with all of this horrible guilt" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Cheney_hunting_incident

• After the President used some less-than-kind words to describe a certain stage-rushing musician, and then was quoted, the person who quoted him had to apologize for "quoting words that were never intended to be made public". But I think that's kind of silly, don't you? Shouldn't one be held accountable for what they said instead of someone else being held accountable for repeating it?

• When a certain congressman from my own state shouted out very rudely during a presidential address, he rightly apologized to the interruptee. But apparently, that's not good enough. Not just one, but two or three apologies are needed! Geez!

So I have a question for you. Can the government do me a favor and make all the mean kids from 6th grade apologize? Ohh! And my 6th grade music teacher. He was really rude to me. OHH OHH! And that guy from 9th grade who drew mean things in my yearbook. Can the government make him apologize too? OH OH! And my 6th grade school psychiatrist who wouldn't believe that I was kidding about having an imaginary friend, so he called my mom to ask her to get me "psychiatrically evaluated"? 6th grade was an ugly year for me. The government should just find everyone I came in contact with that year and make them apologize for all the stuff I had to deal with.

Oh, and since they're in the business anyway, can they make my little brother apologize for running into my fist? It was a traumatic experience for me watching him writhe in pain while I stood over him and laughed. And maybe the government should make whoever it was that told that one girl that I thought her shoes were ugly apologize for spreading it around. That'll be good enough until I make another mistake or misspeak. Maybe if this blog is taken the wrong way and critisized meanly, the government can make everyone who read it apologize for their pre-suppositions!

There are no bells in college!

COLLEGE!!!!



We all know what it's like. We've seen "Animal House".

We've seen "Accepted".

We've all seen our share of college-themed movies and shows.

Some of us, me included, are actually in college ourselves!

And we know what it's like. The drinking, the partying, the tiny refrigerators with the too-small freezer that you can maybe fit a few dozen fla-vor-ice freeze pops in, the R.A.'s, the microwavable meals. . .they all give the impression of "yeah, I'm in college"




Now, we've all seen that show Saved By The Bell, right? The high school kids, the early 90's, and the antics that followed them through all four years of school?

You know you have. Don't act like you didn't laugh that time Slater and Zack had to fix Mr. Belding's car before he got back to school but the shop kids took the whole thing apart. Oh those roughneck auto shop kids; always making things more difficult for Zack and the gang!
The hilarity is almost overwhelming!

Now, like a good show about kids in school, it stuck to the time limit of four years. So the kids went from freshman year all the way to graduation in a very timely manner.

But in 1993, they tried to send the kids to college. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of higher education, but anyone can see why Saved by the Bell: The College Years only lasted one season.

While they attempted to cover the basics of fraternities, sororities, and raising money to go to spring break in Cancun, they failed to grasp college as a whole.

Examples-

• They went to all of their classes. And when Kelly skipped a class or two, Zack yelled at her and told her that she'd "never amount to anything" if she continued the behavior.

• They all went to the same college and stayed best friends forever. Zack even married his high school sweetheart in the season finale! (oh, come on, you know you weren't planning on watching this anytime soon!)

• They were all best friends with their Resident Advisor who is an ex football player and way too old to be in college. (NOTE: My apologies. There's no such thing as "Way too old to be in college", and I should not have said that. My anatomy and physiology study buddy last semester was in her 60's at least and making better grades than me! So my bad on that one.)

• I didn't see a single illegal substance during the whole one episode I watched.

• And lastly- There were no Bob Marley, John Belushi, Scarface, or generic hot chick posters anywhere!

Oh Saved by the Bell. You disappoint me.

Hopefully, one day, we'll have a show that tells it like it is. A show that does for college what The Office did for desk jobs. But for now, we'll have to either put up with ABC's "Greek", or just stick with National Lampoon's classics.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go check out some Collegehumor.

I love Jolly Ranchers!

Alright, so I have a Public Speaking class this semester. My first speech has to be a process speech. It can be about anything (says my teacher). She even said I could trace the history of a specific company if we wanted to! Like presenting a timeline to the class! The company I've chosen is Connected Ventures.

I spend enough time on their sites and know enough about the company already, it'll be easy to talk about it. And I'm sure I won't have any problems with finding enough information to present. I think my biggest problem will be making a smooth segue from one point to the other.

I think segues are my biggest issue when required to speak in public. I've spoken plenty of times, and have no problem doing so. I live for the laughs I get when addressing a group of people, but I hate spending time coming up with ways to transition from one subject to another.

But I have until next Wednesday to prepare and to make sure my transitions are smooth.

I think the only type of Jolly Rancher I'm not fond of is the apple kind. Can't they find someone who likes the apple kind and give them all the ones from my bag? Can't I just have a bag of blue, red, pink, and purple?

See? Did you see the complete lack of segue there? I mean, I went from talking about a class to talking about jolly ranchers! What the heck is that?! Where did that come from? I don't know. You don't know. No one will be able to find a connection that isn't there!

But seriously, Jolly Rancher people, if you could just find it in your hearts to make customizable bags, that'd be great.

Dang yall. . .

Today my American Government teacher said what he'd been wanting to say since he first met us.

-Direct Quote-

"I am smarter than all of you."

---
Yes, that's right. Not "I'm smarter than all of you when it comes to. . . " No. He finished it with a period and everything. Question- Am I surprised? Answer- Not really. I've been waiting for it, actually.

But ah well. At least I'm passing. That matters much more right now than his ego.

I'll be able to stick it out for the next however many weeks and deal with it. A silly unrelated to the discussion comment here (ex: wow, those are really big words you're using) , a random personal question there (ex: did you get a haircut? cuz it looks - aaamazin'!) and I'll be out of there in no time.

Also- anyone who wants to buy one of these for me can if they want to. . . (hi mom!)