Monday, May 5, 2008

Bad Semester and Crazy People.

I got Amazing grades on my Medical Terminology and Anatomy and Physiology classes. I failed both biology 102 and math 110. I just dropped the ball I guess. I'm going to have to do better next time. For biology, nothing clicked unless I compared it to human stuff. Which was great when we were in the Animal Section, but my teacher was a crazy plant lady and only focused on the animal diversity for about two and a half weeks.

Anyway, I'm ticked off about it. But on the positive side, the unofficial transcript tells me I made a D in bio 102. I'm not sure it means it, and I know I don't deserve it, but I'm fine with getting it!


Okay, so I have a neighbor about two houses down (which, in cul-de-sac terms means right across the street from me!!!) who I've suspected of being a CIA Agent for the longest time. I went to a birthday party friday night (had my own on saturday night, but I'll leave that until after the spooky story) for a friend who was turning 40. The theme was 80's and I had no idea until I showed up. So, resorceful person that I am, I took my pony tail out and put it back in on the side of my head!

( Soooo 80's, right?) And tied myself a headband like those ones that "rocker" guys always used to wear in the 80's. Mack on Saturday's Warrior comes to my mind when I wear it like that. Anyway, so there I was, coming home from the party at 11:00 at night, right? And my neighbors are having one of their "public intoxication/keep the kids up all night" parties that they love so much. So I pull up, and CIA Neighbor comes right up to my car door and waits for me to get out.
I'm freaking out, because he's probably drunk and he's in the CIA. So I open the door and throw a very polite yet airy "hey!" his way. He puts on his "I work for the government, so I am in charge" hat on, and asks:
"So, y'think you're going a little fast this evening?".
Why no, officer, do you think you've been being a little bald this evening?
"I was going the speed limit."
"No you weren't! We all saw you pulling in here!"
Yes, but you have all been drinking and keeping your kids up too late as well.
Seems like your judgement skills are impared.
"25 is the speed limit in the neighborhood, right? I was going 25"
"Ummm, no you weren't."
Ah, taking the comeback quality back to high school? Don't mind if I do!
Here, I sigh heavily and roll my eyes, and go "pshhhh" so fast, you'd think I'd have just let the air out of someone's tires.
"Oh, oh! You can go ahead and roll your eyes, miss- WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY??"
I really was going to answer, really. But he's too fast.
"D-d-d-d-d'you even l-live here??!!?!" In pops Haley Joel Osment to throw around a few smart aleck remarks "St-st-stuttering St-stanley!" and maybe a touch of Adam Sandler "T-t-today, Junior!"
Nah, I actually live in the house behind this one, I'm just passing through
so that I won't have to go all the way around.
"Yes, I do." lame, I know, but lame questions deserve lame answers.
"Well good! Because I'm going to talk to your parents in the morning!"
If you can even remember, oh, and
good luck getting past that hangover!
"Alright, fine!"
Here, I'd like to note that he never actually came over. Maybe he forgot, maybe he had to go kill somebody, and maybe he realized that he sounded like a retard, but whatever the reason, he never showed. Sounds like we have one playground bully that can't follow through with threats. If he wants to meet at the flagpole after school, I expect him to be at that flagpole after school! None of that "I hear my mom calling, your off the leash" junk! No! I wanna see some follow-through, not some wimp-out!
Anyway, so I've decided that next time, I won't even get out of the car. I'll stay there all night if I have to. Let him stand there all night, I have a place to sleep. I've slept in that car before, I can do it again. It's a matter of will. But chances are, he'll get frustrated and leave after about ten minutes. Either to go home or to talk to my parents no matter what time of night it is, I dunno. But I'm never opening the car door again when there's a strange, bald, scary looking drunk standing there. I'll call someone from inside the car to come help or I'll drive somewhere else and stay the night there.

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