They call it "Myrmecophobia".

And it was the reason I was sobbing in the middle of the movie theater this afternoon.

I went to go see the newest installment in the Indiana Jones series. It was going fine most of the movie. I was laughing and getting excited and very much enjoying the show. . .

Until about three quarters of the way in. Where there is a scene with millions of ants, all about the size of a Hot Wheels car.

I saw the first one and thought it was a scorpion. But upon closer inspection, and with a better camera view, it became clear that this was certainly a creature (at least in my mind) to be feared.

I thought to myself "Oh... my . . . goodness". As I realized where this was leading. So, I turned around and looked back at my family who were a row behind me because there were about five empty seats in front of them when I came back from the restroom, so I had taken one of those instead of scooting through the seats in front of people to reach the seat I had left.

So there I was, not looking at the screen, and doing fine- until the sound came. The sound of those giant ants swarming. The sound of the characters on the screen freaking out. The sound of someone crying.

Someone is crying? Where? I look at the faces behind me, scanning each one for tears, or a blotchy complexion.

I feel a tear fall on my hand, and I realize that the person crying is me.

I was actually crying. Me.

And right then, I realized how scared of them I actually was. Right there, with my face pressed into the back of my movie theater seat, sobbing and sniffing with my eyes screwed shut, a hand over one ear, and the other clutching onto my mother's hand for dear life, I realized that it wasn't just a matter of "I don't like ants because they're creepy".

I know it sounds weird that I didn't know. But I really didn't.

The scene went on for what seemed like hours, but I was later told that it was really only about eight minutes, until I was finally able to face the screen, and watch the rest of the movie.

This irrational fear and feeling of terror at that scene had forced me to wonder- Why am I so scared?

And after searching my memories for a second, I came upon one that I can point the blame at.

When I was young, probably around 5 or 6, I was playing at a park close to my house with my mother. I had found the neatest pile of sand ever right there among the woodchips. It was huge! I couldn't wait to sink my hands into it. And it was after doing just that when I realized that it wasn't a pile of sand after all, but an antpile. I was covered in ants in a matter of seconds, and I forget what happened after that, but mom says that we were able to hose me down and get all the ants off, but I was covered in antbites.

And that one time back in the early 90's. More than ten years ago, that moment in time was what lead to this fear.

And it was the reason I was sobbing in the middle of the movie theater this afternoon.

They call it "Myrmecophobia".